I’m sitting a table with four buddies playing off, two more sitting in the wait, four more on the way. It’s poker night. Mostly buddies from nearby Slugger’s Colelctibles, the group is all-male, ranging in ages from 20 to 35. Before Moneymaker, before Rounders, there was poker night. Thanks to cultural revolution, the home game is healthiere than ever.

There’s a classic image to the home game: Cigars, thick smoke, ash trays everywhere. Dim lighting, sweat, booze and huge piles of chips. Sleeves rolled up, ties loosened, half eaten sandwiches. We’ve replaced the sandwiches with bottles of pop and cigars are few and far between, but the room is warm and we’re each out for one another’s blood. It’s fantastic.

I’m raising a glass to poker night. It’s a great tradition of bonding that’s never, ever gotten old. It doesn’t hurt that you can take double value dollars off friends that spends and functions as bragging right-currency. A loss is brutal; for the next week, you’re their bitch, and only a win next week can change that.

That’s why I’m gonna’ beat their ass.

gary@wisehandpoker.com

Kido Phan outlasted a strong and experienced final table that included World Champion Joseph Hachem to take the WSOP Circuit $10K entry event yesterday. Pham, the runner up at last year’s Doyle Brunson North American Poker Championship WPT stop, outlasted J.C. Tran to take home $453K. Card Player’s coverage of the event can be found at;

http://www.cardplayer.com/poker-tournaments/event.php?id=3099&screen=result

With Lee Watkinson, Scotty Nguyen and World Champion Joseph Hachem all falling by the wayside, the final had to be coinsidered a surprising one, but Pham was at or near the top of the standings for most of the four days of play. This is one hell of a follow up performance.

gary@wisehandpoker.com

I hate that when I tell half the population I play poker, in their eyes I might as well be playing the slots. We

Sorry, I just wanted to add, I’ve been a big fan of some of Gary Sinese’s work in the past, so his involvement raised my hopes, maybe to unrealistic levels. read on,

Gary

So, last night between 1-2AM, I made two horrible errors. One was a $200 misplay on a hand in which I ignored a great read, the other was tuning into CSI:NY. I understand the world adores the CSI’s. They’re fluid and quick and don’t require much thought. Cotton candy entertainment at its finest.

Conversely, here’s how I feel about the CSI’s; they’re cheesy and tacky, filled with horrible one liners and other dialogue you’ll never find in the real world. The acting is passible, but that’s irrelevent given the material they’re working with and the science of the show is an over-simplified series of shortcuts have the world thinking that they too can solve murders. Let me be blunt. I DESPISE EVERYTHING ABOUT THESE SHOWS AND THINK THEY’RE THE WORST CRAP ON TELEVISION….and with that, my exodus from society is complete.

Now that I’ve outletted my venom and likely alienated half my readers in doing so, allow me to explain what this has to do with poker. Last night, as I was perusing the forums at www.twoplustwo.com, home site to authors David Sklansky and Mason Malmuth, I came across a thread that mentioned last night’s CSI:NY episode was poker themed. Foolishly, I ignored my read on the show, figuring one more try couldn’t hurt. Wow was I wrong.

The players in the home game were named Brunson, Ivey and Lindgren. The detectives continually made comments about the victim ‘taking a bad beat’ amongst other poker axioms. Every third line caused involuntary spasms in my legs and arms as my head spun on its axis repeatedly. It was a brutal display of what passes for entertainment these days. ‘Passes’ being a relative turn. I don’t know if after this experience I can keep tuning into shows I don’t regularly watch for poker cameos. The only reason for me to look is the slowing-down-for-an-auto-wreck phenomenon in which we can’t turn our eyes from an image we know is wrong.

In the $200 hand, I was sitting at a $4/$4 NL on pokerroom.com with about $950 (after starting with $400. It was a good session) when I found myself looking at big slick in the pocket (for those of you who are uninitiated, ‘Big slick’ is ace-king. In Dallas, this hand is referred to as ‘walking back to Houston’ because play it enough and you won’t have bus fare home). Sitting mid table, the blinds were raised to $10 by an aggressive player for whom $10 was the standard, so I re-raised to $30. To play, everyone behind me would need a real hand.

The player sitting to my left had been awfully quiet for the forty five minutes I’d been at the table, so when he re-raised to sixty, my spidey sense started tingling. I’d been pretty tight to this point, so with his minimal re-raise suggesting he wanted the call, I narrowed his potential hands to the four biggies: AA, KK, QQ and AK, and I didn’t think he had AK. Finally, with time running down, I digitally threw my $30 in the pot, but didn’t feel too good about it.

With the pot just shy of $140 and his stack at $175, the flop came K-5-3 rainbow, and here I made a second mistake, checking instead of making a feeler bet. If I put thirty in and he raises again, I might be able to get away from the hand. Instead, I checked and he bet $75. The QQ possibility was still lurking, especially with his betting better than 60% of the flop. Again, time ran down until I shoved. He called. He turned over the aces.

The point here isn’t that I played the hand terribly. I know I did and deserved the beats I took as a result, but more, its about my initial read being right, and not only trying to ignore it, but failing to do so properly and playing top-pair, top-kicker defensively as a result. I regret the $200, but it seemed to be a fair price for a strong re-iteration of one of poker’s unwritten rules: Trust your instincts. Five hands later, I left the table.

gary@wisehandpoker.com

I’m sated.

Last night’s finale to the World Series main Event didn’t hold many surprises for me. I knew the order in which they went out, I knew about the miserable start to Matusow’s day, Black’s fall from grace, Lazar’s massive choke. I knew Hachem won with 73o, and that the unlikely Dannenmann made the final. I was there this summer. None of this stuff was new.

With that said, could you imagine watching an NFL or NBA or MLB game you knew every detail of and enjoying it? I’ve heard of people taping games they couldn’t be on the couch for then maniacally covering their ears and running away at the mere possibility of having the outcome revealed, but personally, I couldn’t think of anything more boring than a sporting contest whose results are pre-determined. Good thing poker’s not a sport.

With all that accumulated knowledge, I still enjoyed last night’s show immansely. From the opening montage I had goosebumps as I watched the lives of nine men change irrevocably. The recaps, the hands, the cheesy-bad Norman Chad jokes…they all whipped by in the blink of an eye with screams from me and my buddies after every one of them, and it was all over far too soon for my liking.

Seeing Matusow experience the emotional arch to its wildest extremes on the first hand of the broadcast set the table. After going through that ringer, we were ready for anything and we got it. Hachem stayed at $2.5 million for what seemed like a week as the cats to his mouse fought over the spoils. Finally, he fought his way back, cool, calm and got his dream final, facing off with new buddy Steve Dannenmann. It was like he’d planned it all along.

I’m going to miss those tuesday night broadcasts. They’ve been a great excuse for me and my buddies to gather at my office, watch ESPN on satelite and get in a few tournaments afterwords, and I can’t help but think getting them to come out as regularly won’t be easy without the accompanying entertainment. Still, I’m glad for what we got: A beautifully edited look at one of the most remarkable competitives endeavors of our lifetimes. Thanks ESPN.

gary@wisehandpoker.com

I’ve always been a big fan of actor Jason Lee. With a Cheshire grin, a hint of mischief and a lot of attitude in the roles he’s done, Lee’s presence in a film more or less guaranteed a certain level of enjoyment on my part. When it was announced Jason would be making the jump to television this year with My Name Is Earl, I was a little dubious about the concept, but I looked forward to seeing it because of Lee.

Turns out its a pretty good show. With a cast of white trash stereotypes, Earl watches its protagonist try to right the wrongs of his life, inspired by his newfound belief in karma. Some of the wrongs were really, really wrong, and the results are pretty funny. An example: Earl finds out he can get free beer whenever a golfer gets a hole in one, so he starts ‘helping’ the hole in ones happen, leading to one victim quitting his job and alienating his girlfriend because of the professional golf life that awaits him. These are not your every day wrongs.

With that said, to date, I still haven’t seen ‘Earl’ in its designated time slot, and I won’t be watching it tonight either. I’ll be in front of my television, but it’ll be on ESPN, where the final episode of the World Series of Poker will be aired. Each year, ESPN has outdone itself with the presentation of those characters who flesh out the tournament-story, and while I was a little dubious after the first couple of episodes, they’ve managed to do it again.

Why was I dubious? Well, we wasted three segments on the idiot Barry Paskin, the English comedian trying to stretch his fifteen seconds into some kind of residual career by choosing to not bathe and screaming at the top of his lungs to the chagrin of everyone around him. We wasted two more segments on Adam Friedman, the red-headed college kid who seemed to think he

Just a short note today, if you’re interested in mixing poker with comedy, I highly recommend you check out www.billfillmaff. com. Entirely fictional, it manages to take some great pot shots at those on the poker scene, including ‘1998 World Champion Bill Fillmaff’, whose childish antics you’ll no doubt recognize. Go check it out and download the six episodes that have been filmed and made available on the site. You won’t regret it.

Gary@wisehandpoker.com

Am I supposed to like Mike Matusow?

I’m serious, I really don’t know. Last year he was the ass who got in Raymer’s face, throwing rage-filled, darker tantrums than Phil, following it all up with a six-month prison term for trafficing in narcotics. These qualities do not a hero make.

That said, Matusow is this year’s ESPN hero, a story of redemption as he tries to right his wrongs while marching to the Main Event final table. On the broadcasts, he brutalizes novice live players, but not likable ones. He bitches and moans about his horrible luck, but he’s comical in his demonstrations so we forgive it. He seems to want the win more than anyone, and its not because of the money. That leads to poker’s noblest ideal:

Money ain’t nothing.

Poker’s about throwing your money around to show you can. That you’re worth so much that money is nothing more than ammunition with which one wins pots. Guys like Matusow don’t value the money like most people. He’s transcended the mighty dollar.

Matusow’s likability stems from this: He convinces us that the wins are MORE valuable then the money, not that the money lacks value. For him, the victory is everything; Self-fufillment personified. The win makes him complete. As we live vicariously through the players on the screen, it makes us complete too.

Matusow’s no everyman. He’ll never 9-to-5 and again, there’s that whole prison thing. Thing is, he doesn’t have to be. He’s a TV character, and they’re supposed to exaggerate our humanity. That’s who he is.

I still don’t know if I like him, but he makes for good TV.

gary@wisehandpoker.com

Let me start by saying that I am no fan of Alex Rodriguez. In the Yankees-Red Sox war, my sympathies go through Boston, so the Sox losing the A-Rod sweeps stuck a fork into any lingering love I could have for the greatest shortstop since Honus Wagner. That he’s cocky, a little arrogant and the complete package that I’m not couldn’t have helped his case with me either.

That said, far too much was made of A-Rod’s playing poker a few weeks ago at a well known New York club. That he was hanging out with Phil Hellmuth probably didn’t help to lessen the notoriety of the situation, and I understand the Yankees not liking his being connected with an illegal joint, but he wasn’t breaking the law himself; instead he was playing a game that fueled his competitive needs, and before you tell its glamorizing gambing for the kids, have a look at your tv set.

Poker is on tv 24/7. The players are superstars, the money unfathomable. If A-Rod’s promoting gambling, then so are Makai Pfeiffer, Mathew Perry, Doogie Howser and everyone else who appears on Celebrity Poker Showdown. No, they aren’t playing in illegal establishments, but that has nothing to do with the ‘glamor-gambling’ issue. Poker is mainstream, and if the government doesn’t want to make it easier for players to conglomerate, they’re going to find a way.

The truth of the matter is there should be government subsidized card rooms in every city where the rake can go back to education and hospitals. Even the online card rooms would be happy paying a small percentage of their huge profits. “There’s nothing we’d love more than to give the government 3% of our earnings in exchange for legaility”, Mike Sexton told me a year ago. That these card rooms don’t exist has driven poker players here in Toronto to clubs for years. Until there’s a convenient alternative, it’s going to keep on happening.

So, if you’re going to despise A-Rod, hate him for his looks, talent, fame and attitude. Hate him for answering ‘Is this trade a good thing for baseball?’ with ‘It’s good for the Yankees’, hate him for $25 million a year, but don’t hate him for playing a little poker. It’s a misplaced frustration that would be better wasted elsewhere.

gary@wisehandpoker.com