Which professional sport is most difficult of all? A solid argument could be made for many, but for my money it’s hands down the sweet science. If you feel otherwise, try stepping into a ring some time and going more than 5 rounds - or alternately watch any Arturo Gatti vs. Micky Ward fight and picture yourself in that ring. Not pretty.

What’s also not pretty is participating in a home game and watching a retired golden gloves and Commonwealth Games boxing gold medalist getting his brains beaten in at the table.

Even though he only buys in for $50 at a time in a $1.00/$2.00 no limit cash game, this gentleman manages to lose $200-$400 in a night - over and over and over.

It’s like watching Muhammad Ali return the ring and get beaten down by Trevor Berbick or sitting ringside to watch Floyd Mayweather humiliate Arturo Gatti, except it happens every sunday night. Some people simply can’t get away from what they love. Unfortunately for this former boxing champion, his first love happens to be no limit hold em’, his second love is drinking beer while playing hold em’ and his third love is calling down anyone who dares to bet at him when he holds a pair of twos or better.

In brighter “non-alcholic or degenerate gambler” news, have a great holiday and if you wish to support the environment when making a holiday purchase, check out www.clickgreener.com . The site links to some major retailers and for no charge donates over half their referral fee from the stores to an environmental charity of your choice. I figure i may as well save some animals or air for the grand kids to breathe or see while i buy my next poker book.

There’s a big time finance rep for a telecommunications company in Washington DC who rumour has it can eat close to 1/3rd of his body weight in bbq chicken in a single sitting. Fortunately, he hasn’t come to play in the Toronto underground poker circuit after eating. If he did –and witnessed the insane play– the table would be a mess of Diana BBQ Sauce.

Wild, random players can be dangerous in a tournament - particularly if they double-up early and use their stacks to constantly apply maximum pressure. However, these players are usually in big trouble in a cash game with low blinds. Patience and carefully timed aggression will bust them.

One concept some tight players fail to grasp is the value of calling unraised pots in late position for the implied odds against wild players who massively overbet pots after the flop. Against crazy players who are constantly raising out of position regardless of what hits the flop, you should always call in late position preflop if you’re playing 1/2 no limit, or a similar low blind no-limit game.

If you know your drunken and/or wild opponent will overbet the pot and will refuse to lay down top pair, you can bust them again and again. Sadly, one of my regular home players from NYC fails to grasp this simple concept and has been beaten like a drum lately. Perhaps he can be consoled with some BBQ chicken on his next trip to DC.

There’s a game in Toronto with some of the biggest fish ever reeled in near Lake Ontario. Week after week these patrons dutifully show up and ask to play in a cash game. Fortunately, they make brilliant plays such as

a) going all-in in the dark (after about 12 beers)
b) calling re-re-raises preflop with hands such as Q10 offsuit.

This game is a godsend and helps pay my grocery and drinking bills.

Unfortunately, there is one individual who after suffering a few horrible bad beats at the hands of the fish, began to lecture them on their terrible play.

Rule Number ONE of poker, do not EVER berate a terrible player for a terrible play. That terrible player is everyones’ cash cow and you would be a fool to
a) discourage them from playing through insults or
b) educate them as to their terrible play.

On this particular night, the drunken fish left early because of the “lecture” he was given. The rest of us have our fingers crossed he’ll return next week because supplementing your income with a few extra C notes is a nice way to end a weekend.

On occasion a wildcard newcomer gets invited to a homegame. Usually their play is respected and they’re assumed to be tight until they prove otherwise. This week a new wrinkle was thrown into the Harboufront Poker Tour when a guy named “Methadone” showed up. “Methadone” didn’t appear to be a recovering heroin addict as no tract marks were visible on his arms; however, unfortunately for the players at the table he liked to needle. The following recap demonstrates an interesting hand and the pitfall of outthinking yourself against an unknown opponent.

Players in the Hand
Methadone: Unknown
Speculator: somewhat loose and aggressive

Blinds: 25/50
Stacks Size
Methadone: 1400
Speculator 1050

Average stack size: 1000 (8 players)

Preflop: action folds around to Speculator in SB
Speculator raises to 150
Methadone calls

Flop: 4c 7d 10s
Speculator checks
Methadone bets 100
Speculator quickly calls

Given that there are no obvious draws (Speculator raised preflop and it’s unlikely he holds 5/6 8/9 or 6/8 for a straight draw) it appears quite likely he’s holding overcards at this point as he likely would’ve slow-played a big pocket pair in the SB pre-flop.

Turn: 2d
Speculator checks
Methadone bets 100
Speculator calls
Pot is now 700

An interesting call from Speculator, it appears he senses weakness as Methadone hasn’t increased his turn bet relative to the size of the pot and Speculator possibly thinks he can steal the pot on the river. Speculator has also been known to check-call the flop and turn, then bet the river with a monster hand.

River: 7c
Speculator bets 500 (suspiciously leaving himself only 200 chips)in what the railbirds assume is a move to make Meth feel he is stronger than if he had pushed all-in.
Meth thinks for a very long time and calls.

Speculator shows KQ (king high)
Methadone shows A9 (Ace high)

Speculator seems to have out-thought himself on this hand, as his new opponent likely didn’t understand he was trying to represent an overpair by check-calling twice and betting the river.

The hand demonstrates why you should be very weary at a homegame to attempt to bluff a newcomer who may not be thinking along the same lines as you are. Of course, it’s entirely possible that “Methadone” simply read the Speculator like a book…

Playing online no limit cash games at 1/2 tables or $10 or $20 sit n’ go’s is a good time waster. Fortunately, in part because of preposterously loose play and mis-use of the online chat, it can also be quite profitable.

Quite often you can pick up more information from the chat early in a tourney than from betting patterns, particularly if you’re playing multiple tables and/or watching a game on tv while you play. Numerous players don’t realize that when they berate an opponent for a “bad call” or call him a “donkey” after a loose call, they’re giving away a lot of information.

Some players sit down and immediately start chatting about the “correct play” they made in the previous tourney, when they gave their opponent the wrong pot odds to call, only to suffer a suckout. Players who talk like this are begging you to steal their blinds as they’re telling the whole table that they play tight poker. This tell is just as reliable as betting patterns and is often more useful in a short tourney with a fast rising blind structure. Take advantage of players who cry on the chat, they’re asking for it.

When i booked my recent vacation to Vegas i looked for a hotel with large, comfortable rooms - the Aladdin fit the bill. Fortunately, the 1/2 no limit cash game at the Aladdin almost foot the bill for the whole trip.

Aladdin’s poker room is located up an escalator in a room seperate from the main casino. Because of this, i feared that the tourists who normally drop into a poker room –simply because they walk by it on the main casino floor– would not bother to sit down and give away their cash. Fortunately, i was dead wrong.

After watching five hands go by with no pre-flop raises i knew it would be a good night. Eight weak-tight players and one clueless calling station with a roll of $100 bills made my vacation. It’s a shame there aren’t more games in which you can see every hand for $2 against players who can’t get off top pair.

Another good place to play 1/2 no limit is Tropicana. I assume locals wouldn’t bother playing there because the room is so small and pathetic looking. The rakes are also somewhat higher. However, the Trop poker room seems to be a magnet for drunk tourists. After watching one guy in a designer suit piss away $300 (all the while slurring his words, hitting on the waitress, and trying to order burritos for the table) i knew this game was gold. After he raised to $40 pre-flop i looked down to find QQ on the button. After re-raising to $100 he called and showed down J8 offsuit??? After busting out again, the guy pulled out a 6 inch knife and stabbed it into the table! Security was called, but fortunately Crocodile Dundee left without wounding anyone.

Next time you’re in Vegas and want to make some easy cash, drop by Aladdin or Tropicana between 12am-5am. Play tight and aggressive and pay for your trip. Cirque du Soleil, filet mignon and lobster are much more enjoyable when you know some yahoo with a knife payed for them.

Ever since Americans disapeared from Party Poker, the single table tourney play has tightened up immensely.

Even at the 20 dollar buy-in tables, the Germans, English, and Finns just don’t re-raise bluff. There are still a few Canadian calling stations to pay off the tight-aggressive player, but for the most part it’s ABC tight-weak poker.

Post flop the play has become very weak with Yankees AWOL.Bets of half the pot easily take the pot, whereas before the minimum required to steal hands seemed to 2/3rds to a pot size bet.

If you’re playing on the small money tables at Party Poker, adjust your game accordingly. Stealing pots from position has become easier than taking candy from a baby.

Poker fans generally love to cheer against “villains” like Phil Hellmuth and other players who make a point of telling anyone and everyone how great they are. One of the amazing talents that Hellmuth has is the ability to put players on hands. On TV you’ll occasionally see broadcasts in which Hellmuth lays down nice hands pre-flop, or top pair/top kicker (or better) post flop.

Because it makes for good TV, Phil usually flips his cards up on the table to demonstrate his genius. If you’re an intermediate player like most, do not let your pride influence your poker playing. If you make a big laydown, do not show the table.

This edition of the Harbourfront Poker Tour Misplay of the Week demonstrates the inherent pitfall of “demonstrating your genius” to the table by showing a big laydown.

Players in the hand - No Class, 1300 chips
Speculator 800 chips
Average stack - 1000

Blinds 25/50

No Class raises to 250 from 3rd position
Speculator re-raises all in (800)from the big blind

No Class folds - shows AQ to the table
Speculator does not show AK

A number of hands go by, one in which No Class limp re-raises another player all-in (from early position) to take down a nice pot.

Next Confrontation - No Class - 1050 chips
- Toronto Speculator - 1200 chips

Blinds 50/100

No Class raises to 350 from 3rd position
Speculator, knowing that No Class is willing to fold AQ, raises all-in
No Class folds.
Speculator doesn’t show 4/7 offsuit.

The Speculator observed No Class limp re-raising with what he was confident was a premium hand. Knowing that No-class layed down AQ, and would limp-re-raise with a premium hand from early position, he is almost positive his opponent will fold again, and he is correct. Had No Class just mucked his initial AQ laydown (without showing everyone)The Speculator would not have been able to steal over one third of his chip stack with this bluff.

When you show a big laydown, you may as well put a big sign on your forehead that says “attack me”. Unless you want players constantly re-raising you, do not make a habit of demonstrating your genius to the table - especially if your name isn’t Phil.

Until next time,
Take it down Bigman!

I just got back from hanging out with a poker playing friend who is a huge Philadelphia Eagles fan. When news came in that Terrel Owens may have overdosed, he said: “I hope he dies… seriously.” Nice.

Apparently Eagle fans’ bitterness towards everything doesn’t wane, even if they live a thousand miles from Philly. After the TO newsflash, a show called “Sports Disasters” came on tv. It basically involves obscene boat and car crashes and bulls maiming cowboys and Mexicans. Not surprisingly, Eagle fan LOVED it. Back to poker.

According to poker guru Mike Caro, most players who act strong are weak and vice versa. However, if you’re playing against beginners at a home game, you should throw this advice right out the window. Inexperienced players will not put on an act in a feeble attempt to fool their opponent. A moderately experienced player may reach for his chips out of turn in a pathetic attempt to intimidate you from betting, but if a new player reaches for chips out of turn, you can be sure he’s about to bet. Have a quick look to your left when the cards are dealt and before you’re about act.

I was supposed to have a big homegame last weekend, but apparently a bunch of the guys had to pray to their god or something, because only 5 showed up. Anyway, here’s the Harbourfront Poker Tour Misplay of the Week from two weeks ago - one of the worst misplays I’ve ever seen at any homegame.

Players in the Hand:

“No Class” Eagles Fan - tight but very aggressive
Toronto Speculator - somewhat loose and aggressive
The Probe - tight and weak

FIRST HAND OF THE TOURNEY - all players have 1000 chips and blinds are 5/10

No Class raises to 35 from the button
Toronto Speculator re-raises to 100 from the SB
The Probe calls 100 - action back to initial raiser
No Class re-raises all-in
OUT OF TURN, The Probe declares “I call - all in”
Toronto Speculator pauses for a minute, then folds.

Given their described images, what do you think the players had??

No Class showed AK
The Probe showed KK
(Speculator folded QQ)

KK held up, but instead of tripling up, the Probe only doubled up and wound up busting out in 5th out of 9. Ouch.

I just got back from watching Invincible, the story of a down-and-out 30 year old bartender named Vince Papale. Papale gets dumped by his wife, loses his job and nearing rock bottom he heads to open tryouts for the Philadelphia Eagles. “Shockingly”, he makes the team.

In reality coach Dick Vermeil never hosted an “open tryout”. However,he probably did cry before, during, and after Papale made the team. The movie is mildly entertaining - about as watchable as the Ultimate Poker Challenge. It’s certainly nothing to write home about, but there are worse ways to kill an hour and change. Now, back to poker.

Every home game seems to have a player with horseshoes planted directly up his rectum. On Toronto’s Harbourfront Poker Tour this player is known as Jon “Jack 9″ Appotive. The nickname was bestowed upon him following his infamous call of two all-in moves early in a tournament holding only J9 offsuit. However, recently Jon has earned a new nickname: Jon “Passion of the” Appotive due to his uncanny ability to rise from the dead. After surviving an all-in move when his AJ toppled the chip leader’s AK, Appotive took down another big pot in this installment of:
The Harbourfront Poker Tour Misplay of the Week.

Players in the hand: John “J9″ Appotive - J?
Toronto Speculator - J10
J3 - ?

Blinds: 100/200
Chip Stacks: J9 - 6000
Speculator - 3000
J3 - 2000

Appotive raises to 400 from the button
J3 - calls from SB
Speculator - calls from BB

Flop - AhJc3c
J3 - checks
Speculator - bets 700
Appotive - calls
J3 - folds

Turn - 8c - putting three clubs on the board

Speculator - checks
Appotive - moves all-in

Speculator thinks for a long time and noting Appotive’s small pre-flop raise, he folds J10 (no clubs) assuming Appotive is on a medium ace.

Appotive flashes the Speculator a Jack (hearts) and does not reveal his kicker. The Speculator’s check on the turn when the flush card hit was akin to waving a white flag. He could’ve put out another bet to test the waters. However, the hand demonstrates the power of aggression, as Appotive’s preflop raise convinced the Speculator it was likely his opponent had an ace after Appotive’s call of his flop bet.

Appotive’s call of the flop bet - presumably with only second pair was an interesting move, as it could only work if he put the Speculator on 2nd pair (or worse) and assumed the Speculator would fold to a scare card on the turn (any club, queen, or king) which he did…

Until next time,
Take it down bigman.