Justin Shronk

If you missed it, download it, find it on youtube, pay a nerd in your dorm to put it on DVD. It's amazing. Some highlights:

"Bob doesn't have a funny bone in his body ... unless you count the time he sat on Dave Coulier's cock." -John Stamos

"Bob's girlfriends are so young, R. Kelly won't even pee on them." -Jeff Ross

"John Lovitz. There hasn't been a more affeminate jew in the closet since Anne Frank." -Greg Giraldo

"Jodie Sweeten is here. She hosted this horrible cable show called 'Pance Off Dance Off' ... which ironically is how I used to watch Full House." -Brian Posaine

"Bob, in case you haven't realized it yet, this isn't a roast, it's an intervention. You can keep doing drugs all you want but please quit doing comedy." -Jeff Ross

"I don't know who any of you people are ... but maybe that's because I watch TV and go to the movies and read the trade magazines." -Cloris Leachman (Mary Tyler Moore Show)

"I have vibrators older than most of you. The difference is that most of them still work." -Cloris Leachman (Mary Tyler Moore Show)

"Jim Norton is a necropheliac. Last night he fucked Norm Macdonald's career." -Gilbert Godfried

xharalabobx: something is up with these jamaicans
xharalabobx: girls went 1,2,3 in 100m
oOkayPlayer: i saw that
oOkayPlayer: i heard they are putting together one hell of a bobsled team too
xharalabob121x: lol

OkayPlayer: most of the population is normal
OkayPlayer: and most of the population sucks
OkayPlayer: so im ok being abnormal and awesome

Two commercials that make no sense:

1. ESPN for their fantasy football draft guide - "Find out who will be this year's Ryan Grant." Ryan Grant was a no-name at the beginning of the season who came out of nowhere to put up really good stats. Therefore, ESPN can't know who will be this year's Ryan Grant, because no one knows who this year's Ryan Grant is. If they did, he wouldn't be this year's Ryan Grant.

2. In a commercial for freecreditreport.com, there's a guy singing about how he wishes he would have gone there and he could have avoided identity theft. He sings "Shoulda gone to freecreditreport.com, I woulda seen this comin at me like an atom bomb." ... You can't see an atom bomb coming towards you, and even if you did, you couldn't do anything about it.

Whew.

I've only gotten punched a few times in my life. Turns out, one of the benefits of mastering double-speak and possessing an IQ higher than that of posterboard is that you can frequently talk your way out of situations that would normally find you receiving bodily harm.

The thing about getting punched is that no matter how recently the last time it happened to you, and regardless how vivid your recollection is of that time, you're still never ready for the entirety of the situation when it happens again.

This is what I realize at the end of every WSOP.

Now, probably more than 95% of the media, I love going down to the Rio everyday and walking the floor and giving a fist-pound to some famous pro I know (half because I whole-heartedly wish them well and half because I want people around to know that I know them... a little bit more of the latter with Shannon Elizabeth). I love getting there before everyone else and parking in the secret empty parking lot and taking the secret door in (you know, the one that I found out about ten days ago). I love helping create something that I think is legitimately the best of its kind in poker.

But seriously, 45 days is a long, fucking, time. And it takes getting up on day 45 (well like 41 in this case since we have to leave early to go cover Bellagio Cup), to really remind you what a punch actually feels like.

I feel like got a lot done this summer. I really think I helped take the show, along with Ali Nejad, to a new level. We didn't really start doing anything new or groundbreaking; we just got really good at the things that make the show good. Of course, without Ali, Joe, Gavin, Court, and all the guests, what I do is just a bunch of bulletpoints highlighted in different colors and geniusly organized into sections and subsections in a Microsoft Word document - but still, the show was great week after week and I like to think that enough of it was done with my help that I can take some substantial pride in that. I also had an Asian kid ask for my autograph and picture with me - that's happened before but this time the person didn't think I was Mike Matusow.

On a larger scale, I covered my third straight WSOP for my third different media outlet. I'm not sure what that says about me or the poker industry or both. I think at the very least it says that hopefully I've built up a skill set that will never leave me jobless in this volatile industry. I also moved into a smaller apartment (again, one of those push-pull accomplishments - proud of myself for getting through a move at one of the busiest times of my life? Or sickened that I had to move into a smaller apartment since I'm poor?), and played in my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th career WSOP tournaments (with a combined success level still far less than my first). I went to a strip club for the first time other than on my sister's 21st birthday (not recommended, btw), and I lost over 50 lbs and continue to follow my doctor's orders and not drink any alcohol at all (after a December freak seizure at Bellagio).

After you get punched, there's about 3 seconds where your brain and your body decide to totally forget where and when they are. It's probably the most devoid of conscious thought your brain will ever be. Then you realize where you are, and that you just got punched, and then you just kinda go from there. Nothing hurts yet because of Adrenaline.

So how was my WSOP overall? Well, I have no money, my new apartment is full of boxes and piles of clothes, and I just busted the last $40 in my Full Tilt account (after cashing out about $600, don't worry mom). On the other side, all my shorts from last summer are too big for me, I'm down to two Ativan a day, and there's a chance I might actually be able to pay my rent on time this month.

Not that any of that matters though, I won't be able to feel anything for another week or so.

I started seeking out new music again. I guess that's how I know the medicine is working; I guess that's how I know I'm getting better.

Justin Shronk also made an early exit from the tournament, but his elimination hand was not exactly a race situation. With the blinds at 50/100 Dutch pro Peter Jepsen raised to 250 in early position and the player on the button called. Shronk moved all-in for 1625 total from the small blind with A-J off suit. Jepsen then reraised all-in for approximately 6K chips and the button folded. Jepsen showed 10-7 off suit and flopped a 10, sending Shronk to the rail.

Hey,

With the help of some very generous backers, I will be playing in the $2,500 buy-in event at the WSOP today (saturday). First prize will be close to $1 million dollars and there should be around 1000 players.

One benefit of knowing all the guys that do the updates on PokerNews.com is that they are going to make sure to have a bunch of photos and constant updates on my chip counts and play. The event starts at Noon PST, and you can track all my results here at :

http://www.pokernews.com/live-reporting/2008-world-series-of-poker/event-13-2500-no-limit-holdem/ (the page should be active about an hour before start time).

There is also a function on the side of the page where people watching the coverage can chat and leave messages for players in he tournaments, or chat with the tourament reporters.

Thanks to Brian for putting me in the event, and wish me luck!

-Justin

My friend brian showed me this thign the other day. Basically you get unlimited .10 freerolls on sports bets. If you run it up past $20, you can cash out, or you can just keep running it up. If you bust, they give you another .10 to start out with. So far it's just been a fun way to have something extra to root on (especially when baseball season is the only thing going, which I find monumentally boring).

I never wanted to get into real sports betting because I've seen what it's done to people, but this is like fantasy sports betting since there's really no risk.

If you want to sign up, click THIS LINK TO CENTSPORTS.COM!

After you're signed up, start making ridiculous 5 team parlays. The worst that happens is that you lose it, and they give you free money to start over again. If you signed up after seeing this, be sure to send me a message and we can get some trash talk goin. - shronkdaddy@gmail.com

As some of you may know, about 60 lbs ago I was co-captain of the basketball team in high school. There was another kid named Henner Derstein, and we were the only two 3pt shooters on the team.

With three games to go in my junior year, some punk from Upper Merion took out my legs on a layup and I fell to the floor and dislocated my right shoulder (and tore every tendon and ligament).

At the banquet at the end of that year, Coach Engard said that I had "the potential to be the best shooter to ever come through Souderton (my high school)."

All summer Henner and I came up with our own elaborate shooting routine. Before and after every practice and before and after every game one person would stand about 3 feet from the basket on one side and shoot free-throw style. You had to stay at that spot until you made 10, then moved on. It usually took Henner and I 11 or 12 shots to get the 10 makes. See, we understood shooting, as we had both studied it. Coming onto the court and blowing up 3s right away is just going to fuck up your mechanics. Each day you have to re-teach all your fast-twitch muscles - that's your "touch." Lots of shooters have great mechanics, not many have great "touch."

So anyway, in December I suffered my fourth shoulder dislocation (this one more serious than the 2nd and 3rd since after the 3rd time, they went in and totally reconstructed my shoulder. This latest dislocation surely blew out any repairs they had done.)

My rehab for my should was coming along much slower this time; in fact, today was the first time I had shot a basketball in over 6 months.

So I woke up at like 6am and was bored out of my mind by 7am, so I decided it was time to really start to try to learn to shoot again, and I went to Walmart and got a new basketball (both of the $160 balls that I stole from Hatboro Horsham were left back in philly).

Walking up to the court and dribbling, I noticed a little rust, but I could still handle the ball well and could still do some of my old "And1Mixtape" tricks.

So I walk up to the rim. About 3 feet away. Bounce the ball twice. Knees bent. Smooth release.

Airball.

Not even close.

I shot from 3 feet away from the basket for a while. About 20 minutes and 40 shots later, I got my first make.

I made three more 3-footers in the rest of that hour.

It doesn't seem fair that you should have to relearn something - especially something you're an expert on. In that summer with Henner, I probably shot over 10,000 shots. And that was when I was already a good shooter. I can't even imagine how many it's going to take to get back ANYTHING that resembles my old shot.

That's the depressing moment. The moment you realize that no matter what you do, you'll never be as good as you used to.