Morry

My best buddy and I just placed 4th in a massive tournament on Pokerstars for a win of 17,000. I thought this would jump start my life but things have really gotten outta control. Pokerstars is everything in our lives. My roommate and I can't go to sleep before 2 am. At any point in the night I can login and see at least two friends danglin' in tournaments and cash games. Gambling problems are supposed to occur when you can't win and thus you sell your life (or body) for any chance to get back into the game. What are the psychologists supposed to call this?

In hindsight I've developed the top ten reasons you know you are addicted to Pokerstars:

1.) You refer to your friends as their pokerstars login names. Pele24, want a shot of jager? Danglelapsy you wanna hit the gym? Eddymack88 and Crunch97 are your best friends.

2.) After losing with pocket queens for the third straight time you blame your string of bad luck on women and ban them from your life.

3.) Your mom and dad accept that you're NOT involved in a gay porn ring after continuously walking in on you and your friends with laptops sitting in a dark, silent, basement.

4.) Drinks, fast-food, and sporting tickets are all paid with pstar transfers. "Crimsonkal10 if you grab me some chicken strips and fries I'll hit you with 20 on stars" or "Scotty33 you grab these double vodka cran's and I'll get you in that 6.50 turbo" - These are normal, regular, everyday conversations.

5.) The girl you were seein' cheats on you and you refer to it as a suckout.

6.) Your planning your next trip to the Bahamas from all the travel points you've accumulated on your Visa Gold Travel card thanks to your Pokerstar purchases.

7.) You have to set your alarm to get up for the Sunday Million at noon.

8.) Three of your ex-girlfriends complain after regularly receiving pokerstars propoganda in the mail from the time you signed them up for the 50 dollar "first-time" signup bonus.

9.) You refer to Pokerstars Spokesman Greg Raymer as your bestfriend: "well...I met Greg in Vegas... at Mcdonalds" you tell everyone.

10.) You think that wearing a Pokerstars pajama top to the bar that you bought with your frequent player points is actually a GOOD idea.

- Morry