Guest Blogger

So...Liz Lieu, Jon Friedberg, and "The Captain" Tom Franklin walk into a bar. Sounds like the intro to a bad joke; right...Actually, it is the introduction to one of my recent evenings in Las Vegas. Day 1A at the WPT Championships has just ended, what do you do? After a dinner at the Bellagio buffet that was spent dining on lamp chops, Kobe beef, and chocolate-covered strawberries, Tom Bostic and I headed down the strip to the Karaoke Bar at the Imperial Palace. There are two palaces on the Las Vegas Strip, and after tonight I'll venture to say that Caeasar's Palace has nothing on the Imperial Palace. They might think of renaming the place the Superior Palace.

Disclaimer: The remainder of this blog will be administered in multiple choice, for all you college kids out there.

Question One: How many security guards does it take to patrol a dive bar at the less-than crowded Imperial Palace?

A: 1
B: 2
C: 3
D: 4

Correct Answer: Four, I don't know why but every ten minutes or so four security guards set up shop in preparation for god knows what. Don't even ask how many of them it would have taken to replace a light bulb.

Question two: Brian Devonshire walks up to a microphone at a karaoke bar, what song does he sing?

A: Summer Lovin'
B: Gin 'n' Juice
C: The Gambler
D: Any Country Music song you can imagine

Correct Answer: Gin 'n' Juice, he received bonus points for introducing his rendition of Snoop Dogg with this statement, "This goes out to all my fellow white boys who grew up listening to gangsta rap in Southern California." Extra Credit: the correct answer for "Captain" Tom (and half the bar) would have been D, he twanged his way through some country song I've never heard and then made a B-Line for the exit.

Question three: The color Teal is best represented by which object?

A: A Hornets jersey that Larry Johnson, Alonzo Mourning, or Mugsy Bogues used to rock when the team still played in Charlotte.
B: A T10,000 chip from the WPT Championship.
C: The outfit the lady who was too old to be at the club was sporting at the Karaoke Bar on said night of said events.
D: That bomb Jansport backpack all junior-high kids used to rock in the nineties.

Correct Answer: My heart wants to say the answer is A or D. My eyes want to say the answer is B, but nine out of ten optometrists can't be wrong. The answer is C, quite possibly because this lady not only found two tones of teal, but she wore them at the same time. By the way, she totally rocked!

Question four: You're hanging out at a Karaoke Bar with "Captain" Tom Franklin, Liz Lieu, Wise Hand's own Tiffany "Hot Chips" Michelle, and Jon Friedberg. Which two poker players walk into the bar next?

A: Jeff Madsen and Theo Tran
B: Gavin Smith and Joe Sebok
C: Doyle Brunson and T.J. Cloutier
D: Mike "The Mouth" Matusow and Phil Hellmuth

Correct answer: Jeff Madsen and Theo Tran. Don't be too disappointed in yourself; I would have guessed B as well. Those two were not present. But there were rumors of Gavin showing up. There were also rumors that Kenna James would show up to sing some country songs, but he heard that Tom Franklin brought the house down with his performance and never showed.

Question five: The bathroom in the Karaoke Bar at the Imperial Palace smells like?

A: A Snow Cone Shack
B: One too many urinal cakes
C: Flowers
D: Kool-Aid, more specifically what it would smell like if the Kool-Aid man busted through the wall of said bathroom and shouted, "Oh Yeah!"
E: All of the above

Correct Answer: All of the above. These were all answers supplied by the four occupants of the bathroom at the time. The Kool-Aid answer prompted us to all start screaming, "Oh Yeah." This prompted one of the four security guards patrolling the area to bust into the bathroom as if he were the Kool-Aid man himself, prompting us all to laugh even harder.

Speaking of Flowers, Bostic and I ran into Frankie Flowers at the high-limit area of the Bellagio poker room on our journey back home. He was sitting at a table with actor James Woods and Rajendra Patel, who won the Foxwoods Poker Classic. I'm pretty sure a 15-minute hand took place between Woods and Patel in the time that we chatted with the always entertaining Flowers.

Bostic and I then returned to our home away from home at 1095 Bellagio Boulevard and I now sit here with you at my computer. Email me your test scores when you get a chance. On that note it's time to go to sleep, Good Night, Good Luck, and Good Riddance!

Ryan "Force" Lucchesi
force@wisehandpoker.com